It’s not how many times you stumble…

Who out there has ever stumbled? Who has fallen off so badly it seems pointless trying to get back up? 

The proverbial they say it’s not how many times you stumble and fall, but how many times you get back up. But how do you get back up? Where does the motivation, drive or desire to get back up come from? Who else feels like they must have slept in the day that was being passed out or that they’ve use up their supply already? 

Self-care is one widely advised method of refueling the drive to keep going. But we have to beware of that sneaky feeling of guilt. Perhaps we’ve been conditioned to believe that any amount of self-interest is selfish. This can derail our self-care and send you spiraling into an even deeper depressed state. 

If necessary, actively and verbally (yes, out loud), give yourself permission to be selfish. Set a time limit on it if you can’t get comfortable with the idea. “I will be totally self-absorbed for the next two hours.”

Then actually put in the work. This CANNOT be some superficial ‘I’m going to get my hair and nails done’ time. You need to acknowledge the deep emotional and spiritual issues that brought you to the place of being burned out, depressed, staying down. Then get to work seeing how you can right them and build a system to avoid the pitfalls in the future.

If you’re reading this,  understand this is not another one of those articles written by someone who has not been through it. I’m actively in it right now; spent all of yesterday thinking about my failed suicide attempts and how much longer I had to wait on death. I get it. But writing this has been therapeutic for me and I’m taking my own advice today. Hope you get out there and do the same.

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